Letting go

Things have been brewing on the homefront lately. It's not a good kind of brewing where I get a nice, frothy beer in the end. It's more like a brewing where things are going to explode.

Things between my girlfriend and I are coming to a head. I really need to think of a name for her....maybe I'll call her Never Happy. NH for short.

NH and I haven't been getting a long for a while now. While out carousing with some friends we got into it, in front of everybody. I wasn't so much embarassed about getting into it as I was frustrated about the whole thing.

At one point I was just trying to leave the restaurant to step outside. NH cornered me near the bathroom. She wanted to talk but I didn't. As I tried to step around her, she stepped in my way. I was just trying to leave. She kept getting in my way. Each time she stepped in my path I backed off.

I didn't want this to get physical. It's not the way I do things. I don't want to ever get to the point where she lays her hands on me or vice versa. I was raised better than that.

As this was going on I saw my buddy Al walking by after getting a drink from the bar. I yelled for him to come over. I just wanted someone there to be my witness that I was just trying to leave. I wanted another set of eyes there to prove that I did not do anything wrong.

Is that so bad? I didn't want to be the victim of some superhero cop trying to save the damsel in distress. I just wanted some fresh air and for her to willingly step out of my way.

NH saw what I was doing and wisely let me go. To her it was getting someone else involved. To me it was making a good choice.

This might be the last straw for us. I feel good about it. She called me last night to say we had to talk. She said she was going to leave me but wanted to work through some things.

I'm fine with that.

I just hope I have the courage to let her go.